Fires

Trying to get comfortable with fire season

Not a recent campfire but a good one outside Glacier National Park

Dear Friend,

There is a fire burning too close to here. Too soon in fire season. The smoke hangs in the canyon drying out my eyes and nose every morning. We check the apps and pages for the local resources often. We watch helicopters with buckets and planes drop retardant. It would be cool if it weren’t so close to us, to others who’s homes sit so so close.

We’ve been lucky so far. No evacuations have been issued. But 20% contained and 75 acres isn’t dire and also isn’t comforting. It’s 2 miles from here. We look for updates but they only come once a day so we assume no news is good news. We get caught up in work and get focused and try not to check all the local Facebook groups too many times. We hope the rain doesn’t bring lightning. That dry days don’t bring wind.

We try not to think about how wildfire prevention and resources have been drastically cut in our area due to pullbacks in federal funding. We try not to admit that we looked up how fast fire can travel two miles. Clay trims the yard and cuts brush away from the sides of the house just in case. We talk about loading the RV, or maybe the truck. What do we do if we don’t have time to load the RV?

Probably everything will be fine. Usually everything is fine. This house is over 100 years old and has survived so much. The trees in the forest behind it are huge and old. But I nervously stare at Watch Duty multiple times a day and think about all the big fires in the past couple of years where people had so little time to evacuate. They were fine and then suddenly they weren’t.

When I was young my biggest fear was fire and specifically dying in a fire. I was obsessed with the show Rescue 911. It told real stories of people (usually surviving) all kinds of emergencies. But the images of the re-created fires stuck with me. I have an extremely vivid memory that I guard a lot more closely now. I didn’t know then.

I would sit up at night and pray and pray and pray that my family would be safe and if there was a fire that we would all be ok. If any member of my family was not in the house I would try to stay awake until they came home. I needed to know everyone was alright. I am still this way at least a bit, mentally tallying where all my people and pets are every night.

And now we live where the biggest natural threat is fire and our house is a tinderbox of old wood. Most days I love it here, but fire season brings me back to being that little kid who sits up and listens and sniffs for any sign of trouble. Who sees flames when she closes her eyes.

We traveled to the wet part of Oregon last week and we had campfires and it was lovely. It’s funny how the smell of smoke can be both comforting and alarming. How the crackling of wood can provide joy or consume it. it can calm or concern.

I try to ignore the forest burning miles from my home like I try to ignore the news. I stay awake and fret some nights. Like any season, fire season will pass and I will be glad when it does.

See you down the road,

Jamie