Dear Friend,
Happy New Year! How are you this year? Are you hanging in there? It’s bound to be a doozy.
I have noticed something recently that I am not sure I would have noticed had I not been in some service-industry roles. You know, the kind that many feel do not deserve a living wage and are not careers and not meant to, I don’t know, pay your bills. Because why should you be able to afford to live if you spend all day serving people?
And I think this discourse is part of the problem, but perhaps is a symptom of a wider problem and that is that the rules and social contracts of polite society are beginning to fray. Perhaps they were already beginning, but now it feels as though the rate of decay is rapidly increasing. At the ski resort where I work, we are encountering belligerent guests on a regular basis, at a much higher rate than last season. We have had employees physically assaulted just for doing their jobs. People are starting to worry for their safety. It feels as though the wheels are falling off.
At the restaurant I worked at during Oktoberfest, guests often cut the line for patio seating and were yelling and angry when asked to wait with everyone else. And it isn’t like these kinds of things didn’t happen before, but it is getting more and more frequent in my estimation. When we engage with a business, we are at least loosely agreeing to its rules. We are agreeing that the employees have some charge over the way things will be conducted.
We board with our zone at the airport and sit in our assigned rollercoaster cars at Disney. We don’t wear steel toe boots at the trampoline park. We take the car assigned to us at the rental desk and we wait in the proper line for the ski lift. We hopefully do these things without arguing with or yelling at the customer service employees trying to make things work.
In the past week I have been yelled at countless times at work. Reasons have ranged from people being angry they can’t share a lift ticket to someone being mad I don’t know where to purchase sleds when we do not allow sledding at the ski hill, to being mad they got away with being dishonest twice and only got caught the third time. No, they weren’t mad they got caught. They were mad “it was unprofessional” they got away with it twice before they were caught. And I get that some people want to stick it to corporations and get away with things and I don’t even necessarily disagree with that sentiment. Holding powerful people and corporations accountable for actions is important, but so is upholding standard social contracts that allow society to function. Shitting on customer service workers isn’t sticking it to anyone other than that worker who is probably struggling to afford their rent. It isn’t accomplishing anything except contributing to further short-staffing. These guests aren’t making anything better for anyone, least of all themselves.
It feels as though we are headed for a society where certain people have deemed themselves above any rules and will do as they please and woe be to anyone who stands in their way. And while I understand that these people have always existed, this type of behavior seems to be rapidly increasing. I suppose it may have something to do with our incoming president who seems to demonstrate these same “values.” It’s in the air. No one is forcing our guests to go skiing, but they do agree to some rules when they do. More than rules, though, this comes down to common courtesy and understanding for others. It isn’t about rules above all else, it’s about being respectful to human beings just because they are human.
I’m not advocating for misuse of power and falling in line or else. Most customer service employees have almost no real power. But if the lines at Disneyland become a free for all, it serves no one. People are lacking in empathy and understanding for their fellow humans. And that’s likely the true reason it feels like we are on the verge of some sort of societal upheaval.
It isn’t politeness for politeness-sake, or rules for rules-sake. It’s just being conscientious and aware of others. It’s not moving through the world as a person who sees only themselves and their own needs.
So if you’re out there in society this year, please be kind to be kind. Please cut customer service employees some slack. These are the rules of polite society that I would like us to keep.
See you down the road,
Jamie
Incivility is running rampant in the country. Healthcare workers are 5 times more likely to experience abuse than other vocations. DV and child abuse are also on the rise along with animal cruelty. We have become a “me” first society and if I don’t get what I want when I want it, the hell with anyone in my way.
I try to be complimentary and thankful to anyone who provides me with a service and have had many thank me. It is my hope that I can be a positive role model for civility.
It almost seems like people have to lose all sense of decency and respect before there is hopefully a massive swing in the other direction. Today, I finally cried, really cried as I watched President Carter’s funeral. These were the tears for my country as we have lost a truly decent human. These were the tears I needed to cry in November but could not.